i can't seem to make it 24 hours without ending up feeling like a massive failure in one way or another.

--

anyway, i'm really glad i decided to take arabic this quarter, even if it is an hour's drive away and costing over $300 when adding up enrollment, textbooks, parking passes, and gas. at this point in the class i have learned 75% of the alphabet, and can write about 25 words and several grammatically incorrect sentences!

for example!

أحب شاي. دججي حب اوتوبيس

"I like tea. My chicken likes the bus."

yes, at this pace, i'm sure i'll be fluent in no time. and even then, native speakers won't understand me very well because i'll be speaking standard arabic and not colloquial!


i'm not sure how/if i'll be able to take arabic 2 once i start taking classes at the UC again...

It's one of those times when I feel like I need to have a long, long, LONG talk with my mom. I don't know if it will be the same over the phone, though.

nobody can save you but
yourself.
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
situations.
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
force
to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly
inside.

nobody can save you but
yourself.
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don't, don't, don't.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
being?
do you want to experience
death before death?

nobody can save you but
yourself
and you're worth saving.
it's a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.

think about it.
think about saving your self.

your spiritual self.
your gut self.
your singing magical self and
your beautiful self.
save it.
don't join the dead-in-spirit.

maintain your self
with humor and grace
and finally
if necessary
wager your life as you struggle,
damn the odds, damn
the price.

only you can save your
self.

do it! do it!

then you'll know exactly what
I am talking about.




Mr. Chinaski, it's been too long. I've missed you.

okay so i know the last post i made about my boss was complaining about her but really, despite her kind of absent mindedness owing me a bit of money she's a great boss. she always wants to get us drunk after a really long and great night. i am drunk. woo mimosas at 11:00 at night! nyagggghhh

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS
YOU GUYS
OH MY GOD



why am i not drunk yet